Although we love to claim otherwise, we are perhaps the generation that is most obsessed with perfection. And not in a way that attempts to attain it, but rather one that strives to provide only the illusion of its existence. We love to seem perfect, to portray perfection. So, our social medias are lined with only the good pictures picked from a pile of horrid ones because how dare we post an imperfect picture? We flood timelines with success stories but never ever utter a word about any failures. And when we meet people, we present our best selves, pointing out all the good in us, taking care to never hint at any flaws. How dare we be anything but perfect, right?
In truth, it isn’t entirely our fault. We did not grow up nor do we now live in an environment that makes it okay to get it wrong, to not be good at something, to be flawed. Remember how slippers were flung in your direction, how you were scolded when you got it wrong even though you did not know any better? Schools still fail us for not being good at one thing despite being great at 8 others. We cannot show anyone our flaws, cannot let anyone know that there’s things we are struggling to get right, lest they look down on us, lest they poke at the already open wounds we are trying to stitch up. And no one will hire you if you remotely hint at the fact that you do not know how to do just about everything. So, what choice do we have save to constantly pretend to have it all together, to be perfect, to act as though nothing were wrong with us?
But I have learnt in the last couple of weeks that there is beauty in allowing ourselves to be human. And being flawed is the most human thing of them all. There’s beauty in admitting our humanity, in admitting that we are flawed. And beyond beauty, is grace. This persistent need to portray a perfection - which is quite frankly unattainable - stifles the core of our humanity, the very thing that makes us human. But most importantly, it limits the boundless grace within which our humanity was meant to exist, within which we are to make mistakes and learn, within which we are allowed to not be perfect.
See, there is perhaps no greater gift to humanity than that of grace. Grace, that wrought of God, factors in our humanity, factors in the inevitable fact that we will fall short quite often, that we will make mistakes. This need to feign perfection does not. And by clinging onto it, we deny ourselves the multitudes of grace accorded to all of us while we navigate this life thing, deny ourselves the opportunity to revel in the human experience.
The point being that we are all flawed. We all have things we are not good at, things we are not proud of, things that we wish were better about us. And that’s okay. That is being human. To be flawed is to be human. I am not implying that we must do as we please in the mere name of human imperfection. It is important that we hold ourselves to high standards, to strive to be the best versions of ourselves. And acceptance of our humanity, of our shortcomings, of our weaknesses, of our flaws is the best place to start. Denial is not. Accepting and openly admitting that we are but flawed human beings grants us room, grants us the space within which we can properly navigate the human experience, allows us to make mistakes and learn. Perhaps that is what really matters.
I am sooo bad at a lot of things. There are about a billion things I wish I were better at. But I have been lucky enough to have a space that allows me to be just that, a space that allows me to make mistakes and learn from them, to get better with tiny strides. Perhaps it is time we started creating those spaces for each other.
It’s okay to be flawed. You do not have to feign being perfect. There is a multitude of grace available to you the moment you begin to admit you need it, the moment you admit your flaws.